CollegeHumor Staff Blog: The Only True Horoscopes You'll Ever Read for Whatever Day it is You're Reading This →
Aries: The dumbass elements outweigh the ironic elements, so that mullet is going to have to go.
Taurus: Be honest with yourself. Your favorite coat isn’t shrinking.
Gemini: The reason you have no friends is because you say things like “The Tree of Life is the greatest piece of…
Sagittarius: Your love of bondage is never a great conversation starter.
(Source: College Humor)